Exceptional woman – around you

I knew her over two years from now. She is always cheerful, happy soul having a constant smile on her face. A mother of three sons and the younger one is of my nephew’s age. They both gel pretty well and my sister encouraged this little boy to come and play at home during weekends and holidays.

I had the opportunity to spend few weeks at my sister’s place and that is when I got to understand this house help. She took a week off from work and went to her home town in Tamilnadu. She told me that, there is some government housing project to facilitate low income group people to build their houses. She told me “Akka – a shelter on the head is more than a bare necessity for me. I can clean the houses and earn 3000 IRN per month now, and 1000INR goes for the rent here. If I can have a house of my own I can work even at my home town and stay there with my kids. Now elder sons stay with my in-laws and there are not many more years I can rely on them. So I will take the advance of INR 3000 from each house I work here and pay the government 25000INR to sanction me a house.”

Then she did not come home for about 15 days, and of course we thought she might not come back. One fine morning she came back at 7am and started working like a normal day. I asked her where was she. She narrated me another instance of bravery. Her husband and she worked at the site to lay the foundation and the pillars, as they wanted to ensure the quality of construction of their new house. She also added, “I am not used to work in the field any more, but for this house I decided to chip in all my efforts. That work made me little weak – but you don’t worry, I will ensure your house work managed smoothly”

The same day in the afternoon she left her younger kid at our place and told he has the October vacation now and he can’t be left alone at house. So he will play with my nephew/watch TV, until she completes the work in all the other houses for about 3-3.5 hours. We were okay with that, as we all empathize with her struggle to make ends meet at the same time ensuring the safety and comfort for her child.

Once she completed all other house hold works, she came back to pick her child, her face was swollen.  She told that she slipped in the bathroom while washing clothes. Her lips turned blue and we can see the blood patches on her teeth.  We offered her some general medicine for pain and oil, told her to relax a while, if she can.

With all this odds she returned to work next day, with her little son. But the child really looked dull, she told that, he caught up with chicken pox. That is something which put us back and we had to tell her not to bring the boy home and in contact with my nephew, though we knew she can’t keep him at home alone, neither she can afford to take some time off.

Next day, I left my sister’s place to go to my mom’s place and then to my sweet home.  I don’t know how she managed the situation, but I am sure she figured out something.

I am amazed at this woman with no education, don’t know even to count the currency notes, but always positive, no complaints at work or the life situations. She understands the importance of education and supports her children to get educated. 

Cheers to her exceptional love for life and infinite positivity. My salute to the exceptional souls around. 

Domestic Violence

There are constant pressures of performance on both the sides. For men and women.  The parameters set to prove what and who they are amazes me many times. Why and what is the need? Whom to prove and who really cares and requires these. And the adopted behavioural patterns and obvious choice of actions (though never could think these kinds of measures do exist) horrified me. And, yes talking about the wife beating in India or /and domestic violence.

I was watching  a television show in the morning and one of the Indian citizen telling that beating wife is a very masculine act. Oops...did I hear right.  What is the point in building the family on the foundation of force, violence and pain. What i the point in showing things which are absolutely not required/asked for. What is the point in making your own spouse feel insecure with you.

There are a number of causes or reasons for a woman to feel insecure in her own house.  And majority of them are inherited (like dowry, alcohol, upbringing of the child etc)  and some are new. (I think I am scared to accept that fact as I cant not think of any fix for that straight. Women - may be a mother or sister or wife) ...and  domestic violence seems to be so much more than husbands beating or abusing their wives .

Beating/abusing  the female society for wrongs seems so right to men? OMG.. Are we so judgemental in deciding rights and wrongs or its just the case of pure anger management?  Or its just irrational view of life?

So sad to witness this in the country where the women is worshipped as goddess lakshi/saraswati, where the happiness of the women are treated equally with the heavens beauty. I am so proud to be a woman and proud to say women are the most rational people on earth. Also proud that women never resorted to any of the violent means to prove their worth. I applaud all people raising their voice against domestic violence and working to improve the victims life.

**Was watching an episode of "Stayameva Jayate" an Indian television show on domestic violence and penned my thoughts.

Integrity =? difference

The world seems to be falling apart many times, and suddenly it integrates. At one point every living person is same and has similar needs. Things may change and different with the passing age, but the mind which stays to say yes/no at all times,  makes every one around integrated all over again.

Differences due to material interests set to subside eventually, and the introspection lead to integrity. I am positive that the perspective of white and black changes to grey and every one stay in more composed and united world.